Mad God Ghoul Log (2022)

There are a couple ways Shudder’s annual Ghoul Log films play out, since the original debuted in 2018. Either they keep it simple—jack-o’-lantern flickering on a porch—or they get fancy, to mixed results. Larry Fessenden’s Return of the Ghoul Log (2019) took things indoors and introduced an elaborate mise-en-scène, along with a few tricks and treats: subliminal lightning events, stop motion, lots of foley. It was a bit much, with all respect to the man who gave us Habit (1995). Ghoul Log: the Trick ’r Treat Sam O’Lantern (Evan Gorski and Michael Babyak, 2020) went back to the yard, had spooky autumnal weather, and did some things in the background (notably, the silhouette of a werewolf transformation in a window). The thing is, Ghoul Log is not really a wait for it kind of viewing experience. 2021’s Night of the Ghoul Log hopped onto the porch, and was kind of forgettable (notably, the direction is simply credited to Shudder). Maybe we’ve become desensitized by more elaborate scenes. Perhaps we’re disappointed the candle doesn’t burn all the way down, and maybe take the pumpkin and porch with it. This year we have Chris Morely’s chaotic Furnace in Mordor setup, complete with ambient score and lots of rubbing sounds (?). (We recommend turning down the volume and playing some black metal.) It opens on scandal: There’s no fucking pumpkin! Are we to stare into the maw of this oven for an hour? Happily, no. Deus ex machina! A pumpkin is lowered from the sky! But it’s not carved! But it will be! Multiple times, to ever more gruesome effect! We’ll leave the experience to you, but part with a quibble: If we carve both sides of a jack-o’-lantern, we’ll see one face through the other. How cool would it be to watch the other side be carved through the face we’re looking at? Yeah, that would have been awesome. 3.5 out of 5 sacs of blood.

—J †Johnson